


Why

by sirknightmordred



Series: Malec AU Works - Part Two [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 09:34:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11620848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirknightmordred/pseuds/sirknightmordred
Summary: Magnus finds Alec out on their balcony again.





	Why

**Author's Note:**

> [Part of a Malec AU Askblog - https://askmagnusandalec.tumblr.com/]

“This is the second time I’ve found you out here, Alexander.” Magnus says with sadness in his eyes as he walks onto the balcony. He doesn’t walk to close, wary of Alec’s need for space and not wanting to feel crowded.

“Yeah.” Alec agrees as he looks over the balcony, the cars passing by.

“I know it’s been difficult, but you can talk to me, I’m here, darling.”

“I know. That’s the problem.”

Magnus chokes back tears as his heart feels itself crushing together. “What are you trying to say?”

Alec close his eyes briefly, then opens them as he plays with a loos screw on the wooden balcony rail. “You. My family. It’s just- It’s awful, but I- I feel like you’re holding me back.”

“From what?”

Magnus’s voice is so soft, like freshly washed sheets as Alec chokes on the oncoming tears. Magnus doesn’t touch Alec, but he moves slightly ever more so closely, like he’s getting ready to catch him when he needs him to. Like Magnus is scared Alec will fall, in more ways than one.

“From being with him. From getting away.” Alec says as his few tears turn into sobs.

Magnus’s heart falls, crushed together by fists as the realization dawns on him. It takes his breath away as he stops holding back and rushes to Alec. His hands find their way to Alec’s head, holding his face in his hands. He looks at Alec, his eyes fierce, the glamour gone and replaced with the nakedness of his true form. The pain, sadness, and anger so real and raw.

“Don’t- Don’t you ever-”

“I wouldn’t!” Alec sobs. “I can’t!”

“Listen to me Alexander.” It’s not a request. Magnus’s right thumb strokes gently on his tear stained cheek. “You will get through this. We will get through this, my love. You will be stronger for it, and you will be happy again. I promise you that you will. Are you listening to me, Alexander? You’re the strongest person I know, and you will get through this. I’m here for you, angel… Okay?”

Alec nods his head through the tears and Magnus brings him close. Despite the fact that Alec is taller, his head finds its way on Magnus’s chest as they slide to the floor of the balcony. Magnus’s back presses into the railing as Alec curls himself around Magnus, his head resting on his chest. His own heaving with sobs as Magnus holds him closer, his hand petting his hair lightly with love.

“Shh…” Magnus says softly as he leans back, his unglarmoured eyes staring up into the sky. Into this unforgiving world. He whispers gently to himself as Alec continues to cry in pain, “Why?”

It’s been awhile since he’s asked that question, and he stopped caring a long time ago, until now. Until he knew what it really means to love.

Why


End file.
